Feeling anxious

I am feeling anxious about my upcoming test. I do not feel as though I have been studying as hard and as focused as I could be. I continue to study at home. Believe it or not, it is my husband that distracts me the most not our son. Nevertheless, I still have some serious knowledge gaps that need to be addressed. On a positive note, I definitely understand much more than I did when I first took the exam. If my memory serves me correctly, I think that I was simply answering questions. Serious content comprehension eluded me. I mean, I understood many things but not as much as I could.

My anxiety comes when I think about what will happen to me if I do not pass the exam. How will I be able to pick myself up off the floor? Where would I get the nerve to start studying again? It took me a year and half to registered for this damn test again after the first failed attempt. If it had not taken so long to get re-registered, perhaps I might have at least another attempt under my belt but as of this coming May I will have maxed out my three years from the date of my original application, so this is my last testing opportunity with this particular State.

I know that I should not think about it that way, but I cannot emotionally afford to fall with a great impact. I simply cannot afford to fail this exam. I should have the most positive mindset possible. But I had one the last time and look at where that got me. It is completely normal that I would feel nervous and extremely intimidated (and angry too because we were not taught all this stuff in nursing school!). Anxiety related to NCLEX! This is a kick-ass exam.

Well, let me stop my bitching and moaning. I can pull myself together. I have a month and a half to get myself as prepared as possible. One thing I have noticed with the practice questions I have been doing is that when you know the answer because you have a good grip on the content, the other answers appear to be absolutely ridiculous. Caution though, this can be a two-edge sword. Sometimes you know the answer so much and that you can misread the question. For example, it might say “except” or “needs further instruction” which entirely changes the type of answer you are looking for.

What am I doing to study?

• Reading nursing journals, particularly issues of “Nursing Made Incredibly Easy”
• Reading Frye’s 3,300 Bullets (excellent book!)
• Answering questions on flashcards

I prefer the flashcards because I do not sitting at the computer answering hundreds at a time. The flashcards I can answer while I am sitting in the car waiting or laying down. The books are often times structured in such a way that to get the correct answer you have to constantly flip pages, except Saunders. With Saunders the answer is right there, but I found that I had to use stick notes to cover up the answers ahead of time because my eye had a tendency to wander and glance at the answer while I was still reading the question. But, I do not have that problem with the flashcards. They are just more convenient for me. Problem is, there are not many updated flashcards out. I have using Springhouse and Saunder’s Q and A in the blue box. The newest Q and A edition, colored-orange does not have flashcards available yet.

Throughout the month of April or perhaps early May, I am going to start to build up my resistance. When I took the NCLEX the first time, I felt like I was just melting inside the testing center. I think that it had to do with three factors: (1) I did not know the answers to many of the questions; (2) I had always studied in “study mode”. Meaning that I answer the question, but the answer appears on the screen shortly thereafter. Like the flashcards (I just flip over the card). Instant gratification; and (3) I was just too anxious! So, when the test shut down at 75 it was more than a gift to me because I would’ve lost it if I had to go all the way to 265. It would’ve been more than I could handle.

So, when I say building up my resistance I am thinking about daily runs to 75-265 questions in “test mode” without answers and rationales until the end. This is to say that my honeymoon with my flashcards may be over soon.

Finally, I need to make a decision as to how to best spend my last available resources on test preparation material. A former classmate of mind said that she passed the exam with Saunder’s alone. Another one reported using Kaplan, NCBSN, among other materials. I am thinking about paying for Kaplan online $418. Now, this would be the second time that I will have paid for Kaplan. I did not use it for the first test but paid for it shortly after I failed and was supposed to be preparing for the second test. It was a waste of my money, because I halfheartedly studying with it. They were even nice enough to extend it for me a second time free of charge and I did the same thing, just blew off the opportunity.

Okay, so why invest in Kaplan a second time? There are some other books/resources that I could buy that would be less expensive than that. For example, I could definitely use a book on delegation, some pharmacology flashcards, and a book on ECG. I also saw a visual pathophysiology book that looks interesting as well.

From what I saw, it just seems like a good test preparation tool. Now, because things are tight for me economically I will ask myself some serious questions as to if I feel this is the absolutely best route (you know play devil’s advocate). But I really feel like Kaplan is the route and so far I have been on target as far as identifying the correct tools I need to prepare. The visual aides have been of an enormous help by making the test jump off the page for me. It makes things click for me.